As a complimentary side guide:
1). She is unsure if you’re cute or a stalker.
2). OK, not a stalker (Yes, she did make this decision because you stopped giving her attention, and now she’s desperate for it).
3). Testing you to see if you are looking at inappropriate places.
4). You remind her of a celebrity she has a crush on–she’s just making sure it isn’t him, because if it isn’t, she has a legitimate chance to snake you.
5). Mainly what your job is and determining if that’s enough financial support. They might ask if you’re married, but that doesn’t really matter to them as long as they get free money.
6). Doing everything in her power to get your wife to think you’re cheating on her with a younger, immature girl.
7). Trying to keep the friendship relationship appropriate so you won’t file a restraining order….yet
8). She knows how to make you think that she’s attracted to you and not just your money, but we all know that’s a lie.
9). She compliments you. She had to dig deep too, because you’re really nothing special. By the way, in 30 years, she will say that she only said this because she was using you.
10). She really is mad at you, but willing to suffer the excruciating consequences to solve her financial problems.
11). Once again, she laughs at your unfunny jokes, because she wants your money, and house, and if possible, a car.
12). Well, you both met at a coffee shop, so you obviously both like coffee
13). Again, you stopped giving attention, she is now desperate for it, for fear of losing you and your money.
14). Well, she sure has gone through a lot of effort without caring whether you had a girlfriend to begin with. So what’s this mean? Basically, trying to figure out if you’re married and has to deal kids labeling her as the evil witch for the rest of her life.
15). This only applies if you said no at 14, because she has to figure out if you’re lying/trying to cheat or pull a one-night stand.
16). She now realizes whether or not you are married, you have a lot of money, which means you are successful, which means you worked hard and studied (when actually you’re just authoritative and everyone’s scared of you, you were the D average bully in school).
17). You’ve met all of her criteria (lots of money, no kids that will be around to care what happens.
18). Still trying to figure out if you’re lying about having a family.
19). She doesn’t want you to think she’s a homewrecker (she does this because that’s exactly what she is, she needs to rid herself of all such evidence; she did this by using the credit card she stole, the one you thought your oldest daughter stole. Now, you kicked her out in the winter while your stalker girl is reaping the benefits).
20). Because what better evidence is there than the testimony of people she paid off with your money? Her friends know there’s more money to be stolen to influence them.
21). They have to vent to each other about the ugly display of homewrecking going on, but your girl fears for her life because they might actually kill her if she doesn’t pay right then and there.
22). You are the perfect man. Every girl out there is trying to do the same thing. Your girl knows it and must protect her sugar daddy at all costs.
23). Basically because she needs to feel better about the fact that she is one herself.
24). Basically just making sure you either aren’t married, or one of her friends didn’t secretly snatch you up.
25). #23–told you so.
26). Trying to stall because she still thinks you have a wife and doesn’t believe that you don’t, now trying to ruin your life.
27). Now she sounds like your wife!
28). She’s learned how to tolerate you for the sake of her college tuition bills.
29). Congratulations, you have a stalker.
30). And there goes your dignity, and all of your money. But hey, you got what you wanted out of the deal, right?
